I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you traded sex for a burrito?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
