you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
