If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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