I must be too annoying 4 u.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
