why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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