She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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