I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
