found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
