I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Randomize
