my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize