Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
