Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
