I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies