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• (518): View more from New York

  What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.

  Fav 17 4550 957

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'

  (810): View more from Michigan

  needless to say i wont be back home tonight

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  .....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus

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