Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?

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(205): View more from Alabama

soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.

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(210): View more from Texas

yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?

(770): View more from Georgia

Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.

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