It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.