Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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