its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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