dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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