Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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