why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize