I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
