I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You smell like stripper and shame
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
