so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
