Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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