Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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