So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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