I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize