Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
