tell your sister to shave her snatch
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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