I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
