we have pet lesbian snakes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
