Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
