so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
