There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
