I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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