I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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