my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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