I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
