I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
