I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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