I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I will pee on everything he values.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
