I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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