Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
