You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
