i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
