she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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