okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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