we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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