It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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