Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
