Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
