How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
