and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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