It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
