Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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