Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
