So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
