How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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