if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
