Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
