your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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